To be frank, as an M.E patient of decades, I never really thought I'd get better. Ever, I mean. I honestly thought I would be ill and in pain for the whole of my life.
Smoking took away some of the pain and replaced all the little joys that (I imagined) an ordinary life would provide.
I have now made huge gains against M.E: to the point where it is a bit silly to claim that I'm still ill (I walked 15 miles only today), but I find that I've given myself COPD and that my new life is limited not by unfortunate illness but through my own dumb choice.
When I am being kind to myself I imagine that there was no other way through it, M.E is very, very tough to stick on times, but there were other ways forward, I'm sure of it. I know a few M.E patients who smoke and I'd like to tell them:
Stop. Just stop.
Smoking cigarettes now can lose you a big chunk of your future recovery. Stop. It's hard. But so is everything that's worthwhile.
The overall aim is to never quit-quitting: Each time you fail, you learn something for the next attempt.
In happier times, the M.E patient community supported me in my efforts to stop smoking. Over the course of a month I made a silly hat image each day for my friends in M.E to laugh at. It was great fun, a great distraction from the intense cravings, and a great head start in my race to escape smoking.
I didn't think I'd ever, ever, be running up the side of a mountain. It's only my lungs that slow me up now. Don't smoke, M.E folk. You never know, you might end up getting unexpectedly better too.
Good luck!
